Broken Glass
by Amphitrite II
Summary: Kujaku Mai was killed during an airplane crash while she was traveling to America. Heartbroken, Mazaki Anzu confesses all her untold feelings to Mai in a single letter. :::Danceshipping, Anzu/Mai:::


**Broken Glass** Songfic written by Amphitrite 

A/n: Yay! My third songfic ever. Features yuri, Mai/Anzu. My first attempt with solid yuri, so forgive me if it's not very good.

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-Gi-Oh!, there's no way that Yuugi would like Anzu. That's just wrong. No offense, Peachshippers. "Here With Me" belongs to Michelle Branch.

Summary: Kujaku Mai was killed during an airplane crash while she was traveling to America. Heartbroken, Mazaki Anzu confesses all her untold feelings to Mai in a single letter. [Yuri.] [Character death.]

**--Bold stuff--** is song lyrics. If ff.net messes up the formatting, stuff in –- here – are the lyrics.

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Dearest Mai,

I can't believe it. You're really gone. Mai…

I've lost you. You're gone. What will I do without you? How will I live? My entire existence depends on you. You, my beautiful princess. You…

Kujaku Mai.

Why did you have to go? Why?

**-- It's been a long, long time since I looked into the mirror**

I guess that I was blind -- 

I can't live without you. Where are you now? I can't see you…I can't feel you…I feel lost without you.

**-- Now my reflection's getting clearer**

Now that you're gone things will never be the same again -- 

You know what I feel like? I feel like nothing. Just this big blob of nothing. Sitting here. That's what I am. Without you, I'm equivalent to, well, nothing. 

Do you know why I'm feeling this way? There's only one answer.

You're a part of me, Mai. You're my happiness, my perkiness, my energy. My everything. You were what made me. If it weren't for you, I would still be probably ranting on and on about friendship. But you taught me things, Mai. And you helped me learn from my mistakes.

**-- There's not a minute that goes by every hour of every day**

You're such a part of me -- 

But I made a huge mistake. One that might've changed everything. I never told you how I felt.

I'm not just a girl, Mai. I'm not some annoying cheerleader that's always pushed to the side or ignored. Or maybe I am. But that doesn't matter. Because I'm not who you thought I was.

**-- But I just pulled away**

**Well, I'm not the same girl **

**you used to know --**

Do you know what I mean?

I…I love you, Mai. I do and always will.

Now why couldn't I have said that sooner? I don't know. Fear, I guess. I was afraid. I was afraid that you would scoff and reject me.

Yeah, that's it. I was a coward. I feared rejection. Well, not anymore. But rejection doesn't matter anymore. If the only one in the world that you love is gone, who cares about rejection?

A corpse can't reject you.

But if only I had told you my feelings…you would've still gone to America, but at least I wouldn't feel so guilty for never telling you my true feelings.

Because you might have said you love me too...I will never forgive myself for not confessing.

**-- I wish I said the words I never showed --**

I still remember the moment it happened, like it was yesterday.

But it's been over a month now…

Honda had just picked me up from ballet lessons and he was driving me home when suddenly, his cell phone began to ring. He tossed it to me and I answered.

"Konnichiwa, you've reached Honda's number. This is Anzu speaking."

Jounouchi's voice was panicked and rushed.

"Anzu! Get to Yuugi's house right now! There's something important Yuugi and I have to tell you…" And I thought it was my imagination when he began to sob and that's when he hung up. I glanced at the phone in confusion before snapping back to reality.

"Honda! Jounouchi says to go to Yuugi's house! They have to tell us something. I don't know what, though."

"If you say so, Anzu…" Honda replied and turned his car around, speeding to the Kame Game Corner.

We rushed into the Game Corner, not registering that the sign said closed. We ran to the living room, where Yuugi, Jounouchi, Ryou, and Sugoroku-san were waiting.

"What happened?" Honda asked immediately. The four glanced at each other. Sugoroku looked away and Ryou looked down at his feet. Jounouchi started to sniffle and tried to cover it up. Yuugi looked directly at us.

"There was a plane crash in America today." He stated. Honda and I waited silently for him to continue. "Mai was on that flight."

Honda's jaw dropped and he began asking what happened. 

Ryou wouldn't speak a word and Jounouchi started to sob loudly. Honda looked deathly pale and nervous. Sugoroku wouldn't look at us at all. Yuugi's cheeks were stained with tears and they kept flowing.

But all their pain added together was nothing compared to what I was going through.

**-- I know you had to go away**

I died just a little, and I feel it now -- 

It felt like someone had taken a butcher knife and just stabbed my heart. It felt exactly like that. I couldn't do anything. I just froze there. Standing up, blue eyes glazed over, not moving an inch.

**-- You're the one I need**

**I believe that I would cry just a little**

**Just to have you back now**

**Here with me**

**Here with me -- **

But I wouldn't cry. I know you wouldn't want me to. You would want me to be brave and face my fears. And right that second, I think you would've been damn proud of me. Would've. 

My entire heart shattered the moment Yuugi finished speaking. His words echoed in my mind. The gears in my brain spun round and round. 

Broken glass.

Yes. That's what my heart felt like.

I lost everything that moment. Nothing mattered anymore. 

All because of my foolishness. I could've told you how I felt. Maybe it would've prevented you from going to America. I don't know because I don't know the reason you went to America in the first place.

**-- You know that silence is loud when all you hear is your heart**

**And I wanted so badly just to be a part of something strong and true**

**But I was scared and left it all behind --**

And I still don't understand. Why did you have to die now? Why not a year from now? Why not after I confessed to you? I don't understand…

**-- I know you had to go away**

**I died just a little, and I feel it now**

**You're the one I need --**

And I still won't cry. I refuse to. Inside, I'm breaking down, but ever since that hated day, I put up a mental shield. I pretend to be mourning for you, to be sad, like all the others.

I don't feel sad.

I feel horrible. Guilty. Foolish. Like scum. 

I don't want to mourn for you, Mai. I don't want to cry for you. I want you to be proud of me being brave and not breaking down like I would've half a year ago.

But if I had to cry and if it would make you come back, I would. Hell, I'd do anything to get you back. But it's not going to happen, is it?

**-- I believe that I would cry just a little**

Just to have you back now -- 

Is it?

Why don't you answer me?

Oh…I only wish you were here with me.

**-- Here with me**

**Here with me --**

I would do anything to get you back. Will you try to come back to me? I love you. I truly do. I can't survive without you, and I'm asking you to come back to me and love me. Even if I know it won't happen…

It's wistful thinking, all of this.

**-- And I'm asking**

**And I'm wanting you to come back to me**

**Please? --**

Of course, I went to your funeral. It was horrible. It was held in a temple, but it was, of course, not as beautiful as you. They had your favorite flowers hung everywhere and the seats had purple lining and everything. 

It was basically perfect. 

Everyone was there. Even the Kaiba brothers and the Ishtar siblings came. Dinosaur Ryusaki came too, but the guards kicked him out. He placed a nice purple flower on top of your coffin. I could tell that he was really broken by your death as well.

Jounouchi performed your eulogy. It didn't surprise me. I think that of all of us, he knew you best. But I don't think he knew more than me. Though, probably nobody knew that.

What surprised me was how beautiful his speech was. He described everything he knew about you and everything he had ever been with alongside you. Then, we all took turns at the microphone and said things about you that we loved and recalled the lovely memories.

**-- I never will forget that look upon **

**Your face --**

When it was my turn, I told the crowd how beautiful you were and how you helped me and our duel at Duelist Kingdom…everything I remembered about you. 

But most importantly, I told them that I had loved you…and that I still did. And to my surprise, nobody laughed. My eyes were brimming with tears by the time I stepped off the platform, and I think that their's were too.

I wouldn't look into your coffin. It was too depressing and heartbreaking. I was already suffering enough. I did pick you a lovely bouquet of your favorite flowers, though. 

When your mother, in tears, came up to me at the funeral, and handed me a box, I was confused.

"Mai was going to give this to you…" She said softly, before rushing away quickly. And I haven't opened it yet. I've been waiting for the right moment. I guess now's a good time…

**-- How you turned away and left**

**without a trace**

**But I understand that you did what you had to do**

**And I thank you --**

Oh, Mai…you shouldn't have. 

I love it. Where did you get this adorable plushie of the Happy Lover anyway? Oh! There's a note. Oh, my gosh…I think I'm going to start crying now…but of happiness, this time. Here, I'll recopy it.

_Dear Anzu,_

_I know this is odd, but I hope you like it. I…I made it. Yeah, it's ugly, don't blame me. I'm very bad at this sewing stuff. I would've just bought one, but I wanted it to be special, just like you are to me. That leads to the reason I'm giving you this, Anzu. I wanted to tell you…that I love you. There's no denying it any longer, so now you know. I know you won't return my feelings (how could you?), but I just wanted you to be aware._

_Love forever,_

_Mai_

_P.S.~ Look at the back of the Happy Lover!_

**-- I know you had to go away**

**I died just a little, and I feel it now --__**

It's so cute…and I love how it says _Mai + Anzu_ on the back. I'll treasure it forever. Well, this letter's getting really long and I have to go sleep, so I'm going to end it here.

**-- You're the one I need**

**I believe that I would cry just a little **

**Just to have you back now --**

I just wanted to let you know, Mai, that wherever you are, I will always love you.

**-- Here with me**

**Here with me --**

Itsumademo Aishiteru,

Mazaki Anzu


End file.
